but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize