I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
