Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
