She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
