just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
