We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
