ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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