WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
