Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
