My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
