There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
