you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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