they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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