We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize