Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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