tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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