You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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