We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
