Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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