By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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