I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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