Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
More tranny stories later!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she told me i tasted like america
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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