But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well I just put wine in my tea
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
