Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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