East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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