HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
