This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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