started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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