you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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