the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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