when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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