VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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