I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
