finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
