I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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