NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
