the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
