Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
