Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
operation have a gay friend backfired
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
