I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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