No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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