I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
