She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
