at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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