I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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