the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
