Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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