so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
