It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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