And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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