I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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