I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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