my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you would pick up someone in the library
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
