you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
