So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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