he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
