I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
