Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
