After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
