ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
