question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
