Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
